Postpartum Depression: That thing no one talks about

More Advice on Postnatal Depression

Picture this, you just had a baby, everyone is so excited for you. Friends and family come day after day and dote on the baby. No one asks how you are doing, how you are feeling. You love your baby more than anything and maybe your delivery went as planned maybe it didn't. Either way you just don't feel as happy and excited as you thought you would. And you are devastated.

You feel embarrassed, you could never tell your husband because you don't want to ruin his excitement. You don't tell your mom or sisters or friends because, no one else as far as you know ever felt like this. You tell yourself, they just won't understand. You go to your 6 week follow up appointment and your doctor asks about your mood, have you been feeling overwhelmed? Have you cried for no reason? You keep a strong demeanor, hold back any tears and lie straight to his face. Who wants to have mental health issues on their medical record?

Here is the thing, more people then you could ever imagine have suffered in some way, at some time in their life with anxiety and depression. No one is judging you! And if they are, that is their problem not yours. Your problem is that days, weeks, months and if you are not careful even years are slipping away from you. Happy moments you deserve to be enjoying with your sweet little family are being taken away from you because of an imbalance in your body.

Why are we so afraid to ask for help? In the Antenatal and Postnatal Mental Health Guide they state, "Women might not want to tell anyone about their feelings because of the stigma of mental health problems during a period that is broadly associated with happiness." Having a baby is suppose to be the happiest and most exciting time in a woman's life. But sometimes its just not. Sometimes the mom has so many expectations and not one of them are met. Sometimes every single moment went just as she had imagined it would, but still she feels empty, she wants to sit alone and cry. The guilt and embarrassment that these feelings bring to our new moms is incredibly detrimental to their mental, emotional and physical health.

Being a postpartum nurse I have the opportunity to care for all different women in all kinds of situations. One of the most important things we can do as nurses is educate our patients. Yeah sure we let them know when to make a follow up appointment, when to call the doctor should complications arise such as fever, aches, change in blood loss etc. But do we educate enough on the importance of mom's mental health? Do we let her know its okay to feel what she feels? Do we encourage her to open up to her support person, to a friend and especially to her doctor?

"There are over four million live births each year in the United States. Nearly 800,000 — or 20% — of these mothers will experience an episode of major or minor depression within the first three months postpartum," these numbers stated in the article by Preventing postpartum depression, are heart breaking. We have to talk to every single postpartum mom about their mental health. Make it part of your assessment. Pull up a chair, ask her how she is doing? Give her the opportunity to share her feelings. I have had several experiences doing this, the response sometimes is positive, other times my patient's burst into tears. They are so tired and overwhelmed and just didn't expect to feel this way.


When I am getting ready to discharge these sweet moms home with their baby's, I make it a priority to educate them on being aware of how they feel. I try to do this education while their support person is present and listening. I want the support person to be aware that this may be something they need to check in on. I want to give mom the freedom to feel what she feels and to not be embarrassed about it. Sometimes as human beings that's all we need. We need someone to tell us its okay, you are safe, there is help but you have to speak up! If we help them feel like they are not a terrible person for not feeling happy after having a baby, they are more likely to ask for help. We have to start the conversation for them. We have to set the tone, we have to educate and support them. It is an uncomfortable topic, but we absolutely, cannot avoid it anymore.

Resources

• Antenatal and Postnatal Mental Health: Clinical Management and Service Guidance: Updated edition. 
• Preventing postpartum depression: Review and recommendations  

**Disclaimer: this is not a real blog post, it was written for a school assignment